Tonight I am listening to the sound of the rain pattering on the skylight in the second floor hallway, and enjoying my last few days of central air conditioning. Timmy (my yorkie) is doing the same, sitting beside me on the bed. He is nice and calm now. Earlier he was not too happy about all the thunder. Stuck in my head is an REO Speedwagon song that my friend Elizabeth put on my birthday CD last year (I haven't received this year's yet, HINT HINT). It was the first song on the disc and probably my favorite:
"So if you're tired of the same old story, baby, turn some pages.
I will be here when you are ready to roll with the changes..."
A week from today I move into my new apartment, one mile down the street from where I live now. I love the apartment itself, it is huge! But I was there to sign the lease yesterday and after spending just 5 minutes of the near-hour it took to sign everything and do the walkthrough, I had about melted into a puddle. I haven't lived in a place that had window units in 13 years. Oh well, the lease is signed now!
It will all be fine, I can't wait to move in, and make it my own. Well, my own + Bentley's own, though he keeps telling me he'll won't be there much. Which kind of sucks, because now that I am used to living with another person, I kind of like it, and Timmy does, too.
I feel like I need this new apartment, to go with my new life, my new job. Living in this house with Lisa, and everything about my life for the past year+, has simply been a lengthy transition. Preceded by 20+ years in the hotel industry, I had the last two years of the hotel job (and corresponding apartment) and new movie life overlapping, and now for the past year, no hotel job, no apartment of my own, just 12 months of limbo, trying to figure out if I could make it, and if I wanted to make it, as a full-time freelance filmmaker. The answer to both questions, apparently, is no. And this week really left no doubt in my mind about that.
I found this last year of trying to spin gold from thin air exhausting, and sometimes depressing. I did get to work on some wonderful projects, like Chris LaMartina's "Witch's Brew", Jason Baustin's "Gone Forever", and Steve Yeager's, "The Rosens". Some other projects were not always as enjoyable or of the same quality, though. And as a freelancer trying to make ends meet, I no longer had the option of picking and choosing what I wanted to work on. If it paid, and if I could convince the person writing the checks that I was the right person for the job, I took the job. But I also spent a lot of time talking to some very nice people with good ideas, but for whatever reasons those ideas never got off the ground. Michelle warned me about that early on, and she was right. For every 4 or 5 meetings I/we would have with a potential client, maybe one of them saw it through to actual production.
And while all that was going on, I was having issues getting my own project, my documentary on Joyce J. Scott, off the ground. I had plenty of time to shoot, but no money or equipment. I couldn't afford to go to New Orleans with her to film a very important project she is working on down there, something that I see as being essential to the film. Now I have a job and the money to go - and no time! But I will make it happen, somehow. I always live up to my word.
At the moment, I have another promise to live up to, and that is making a short for the 29 Days Later Film Project 2011. We had our first cast meeting last week, and it was simply inspiring, which was exactly what I had envisioned it would be. I don't want to talk about it, though, as I don't want to give anything away. But I will say that the cast is nothing short of stellar. Most often when I write, I hope and pray that the cast can succeed in translating the emotion that I put on that paper to the screen. But honestly, my cast is so crazy-talented and so emotionally invested in this piece themselves, I hope my writing can live up to their expectations.
Okay, I will tell you this much: most of the cast has never worked together, and many of them had never even met. But after putting these people together in a room for a little over 2 hours, the energy level was so high that I got next to no sleep when I got home that night, I was still so wired. They are each very strong personalities but very sensitive people, and that's why I chose them for this project, and that's why I knew they would appreciate each other. As different as they are, they are like-minded souls. When the meeting drew to a close, it was the actors, not me, who insisted that we have another cast meeting before I put pen to paper.
That itself was an amazing thing, and that is what really had me high that night. When I was managing the hotel at the same time as making movies, one was always interfering with the other. But now I have this great job and though I am not making movies all day, the things that I am doing are movie-related and are making me a better filmmaker, and the paycheck that I am generating there allows me to do the niceties that make all the difference, like bringing wine and cheese to a cast meeting!
I suppose that REO Speedwagon song is a love song of sorts, but when I sing it (as I do, very loudly, in my car with the top down whenever possible), I think of it as me talking to my Gemini self, my practical twin and my creative twin coming to terms:
"As soon as you are able, I am willing
To make the break that we are on the brink of
My cup is on the table - my love is filling
Waiting here for you to take and drink of
So, if you're tired of the same old story, oh, turn some pages
I will be here when you are ready to roll with the changes..."
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand DRUM SOLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(which I also do while driving in my car)
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