Resolve, Rekindled

[Me with Cici Carmen (lead actress) and Michelle Farrell (DP) at the premiere of Gone Forever (writer /director Jason Baustin) at the AFI Theater in Silver Spring.]

The last couple of months have felt a little... off. Some financial realities are setting in. I knew the winter months would be slow, but I was hoping by now, mid-April, I would have a few more summer projects set in stone. Michelle assures me that this is still the slow time, but she is also worried that the dawn of the DSLR camera may be costing freelancers like ourselves a lot of business. That may be part of it, but it takes a lot more than buying a camera to make a movie. I think that a larger part of the problem is that the economy still sucks. Making an independent film is, in some ways, a luxury. And in a bad economy, luxuries are the first thing to go.

Recently a project fell through that would have kept me both busy and paid for a few months. Not worth going into the details of it, and as a professional, I wouldn't anyway. Long story short, some things are more important than money. Things such as integrity, sanity, happiness, blood pressure, and my reputation as a producer. I take all of the above very seriously. Money to me is a well that always finds a way to refill itself. I always find a way to land on my feet.

A few weeks of stress was luckily followed by a few days of being reminded why I do what I do and that there are people out there who are glad that I do it. Friday afternoon I showed the rough cut of a new music video to a client, Tony Bonz, and he absolutely loved it. It was a very fun project to work on, and Tony put all of his trust in me, and Michelle, to manifest his vision into a tangible product. Though that trust helps to make a project go smoothly, in a way it adds more pressure to get it right. But also more satisfaction when you do!

Then yesterday I attended the premiere of "Gone Forever", a dramatic short by writer/director Jason Baustin that I was producer and AD on last fall. Jason really went all out. The premiere was at the AFI Theater in Silver Spring, a fantastic venue, and included a catered lunch for all attendees, as well as professionally packaged DVDs for cast & crew. It was so good to see all the friendly faces of the people with whom I spent 5 days in the trenches seven months ago. It was a very ambitious, challenging piece to make (more than a dozen locations in a 25 minute script, car crash, SFX, shot on The Red) but it all went pretty smoothly, with an ace group of cast and crew. Seeing two projects that I am very proud to be associated with come to fruition really eased the disappointment of the cancelled project, and shored up my resolve to follow my instincts.

At the premiere, a friend I hadn't seen since the "Gone Forever" shoot (we used a room in his house as one of our locations) told me that he just watched "Smalltimore" again a couple nights ago. To hear that, of course, would make me happy at any time, but the timing made it mean a little more to me. Also in the last few days, an actor who was in "Smalltimore" called me to order three DVDs he wanted to give to some people from WBAL who are interviewing him about something else, and Minas Gallery contacted me to bring them another batch of DVDs as they have sold all the ones they had in stock. Combined, these little bits of encouragement totaled the shot in the arm I was in need of at this moment.

A good friend of mine, whose job was making him absolutely miserable, called me earlier in the week to sound off. He was considering quitting his job without having a job, which is usually not advisable, but the work situation was truly effecting both his physical and mental well-being. Being a bit stressed about the flow of income myself these days, I hesitated, at first, to encourage him to quit. But I know him well enough to know that he had already made up his mind, and was looking more for support than advice. Life is too short, I said. I can't stress that enough, to anyone, ever. He turned in his resignation the next day and has been celebrating ever since.

Some things are more important than money.

Most things, actually.