Douchebag Parade

This week has absolutely sucked. It started off with a meeting with my boss that I had been expecting, and me getting laid off. Expecting to be laid off is like expecting someone that you love who is old to die... it doesn't make it all that easier. I'll talk more about it some other day, I am still digesting it. Then I got a $50 red light camera ticket, then I had to throw a salesman from a vendor with whom I have been doing business for years out of my office as he was trying to make me sign a contract without reading it (long story, I almost had to call the cops)... ugh.

Last night I put the cover over C.K.Dexter Haven (my car) and prepared to hibernate through this blizzard, alone, with no one to bother me or ruin my day. Then I was on Facebook and two friends of mine let me know about something really stupid, uncalled for, and altogether douchebaggish that had been posted on my "Smalltimore, the Movie" Facebook page. So here is the aftermath of all that...

Friends, Fans, and Zeb Drinkwater,

I had to remove a very nasty accusatory note from my "Smalltimore, the Movie" Facebook page today, from a guy named Zeb Drinkwater, who was the creator of a FB page called "Smalltimore". I had actually been a fan of his page and had posted to it many times. He thought I was responsible for his page being removed, so even though I am easily accessible and we have at least half a dozen friends in common, he chose to place a nasty post accusing me of this pettiness,more or less telling me I am an idiot, and that my movie sucked. I have tried several times to send him the following letter, but either FB is screwed up or he blocked me. This is Smalltimore, I am sure it will get back to him. I didn't know until today that he had posted that trash on my FB page until 2 people told me so today. Thanks, Zeb, for being the Grand Finale in what has been a Parade of Douchebags through my life this week!

An open letter to Zeb Drinkwater:

Zeb,

1. I had nothing to do with getting your "Smalltimore" Facebook page being taken down. I was a FAN of the page. I POSTED LINKS on there. We have many friends in common. I wouldn't do something so petty, and it would benefit me in no way.

2. Are you fucking high? Oh, wait...

3. I know you can't copyright a title. I am not a moron. Only a moron would think that. Like only a moron would

4. Burn bridges in Smalltimore. By doing things like

5. Trashing someone else's movie, a movie that has been accepted at festivals internationally, has had multiple sold out screenings, has sold hundreds of DVDs, has won an award, and stars one of your own friends and has music on the soundtrack by another one of your friends. And especially moronic is trashing a movie that was made by me, someone who

6. Attended YOUR "movie", about which I shall reserve comment, because I know that it was not only yours, but other people who put a lot of hard work into it, and my friend Kerra had a small part in it and I support my friends. That is what friends do. That is what filmmakers in this town do. The smart ones, anyway.

7. Before you attack someone, get your facts straight. If you want to know who actually DID copyright "Smalltimore" why don't you try GOOGLING it. It probably has something to do with Baltimore Magazine, their article on "Dating in Smalltimore" and their "Smalltimore Singles Party" this month. You know, your friend Libby from my soundtrack is also one of their Top 10 Hot Singles? So you'll probably be wanting to throw a hissy fit at them also. But finally,

8. I am extremely flattered that I am the first person who that sprang to your mind in regards to anything "Smalltimore" related. It means my media blitzing is working.

Let me know if you find the real culprit! I'd love to hear what you have to say to them!

Jeanie Clark
SMALLTIMORE, the Movie

Geez O Freakin' Peez. Doesn't ANYONE have ANYTHING better to do than ruin my day?! As you may have guessed, I am heading to the liquor store. Stay warm and be careful out there. And if you have any bad news or feel the overwhelming need to be a jerk to me, can you please save it until Wednesday or so?