Bring It!

That is exactly what I said to the drunk woman at the Cat's Eye Pub in Fells Point on Sunday night, when she kept telling me she was going to kick my ass for wearing my Steelers jersey. I was there with my brother Ted and friend Phil Calvert to see T.T.Tucker & the Bum Rush Band, among others, giving their yearly tribute to our departed friend, Thom Hickling. Phil, of course, plays the fictionalized version of Thom in "Smalltimore." We had a fantastic time, from what I remember, but this woman beside us kept tugging hard on my jersey and slurring in my ear, "Ahm gonna kick yer asss..." At first it was amusing, as in this town, threats of violence regarding rival sports teams are most often said in jest. After the third time is when I loudly responded, "Bring it!" to her. By now I was certain that the most work I would have to do is duck a slow-motion punch or just give her a good shove. Since the music was loud, her boyfriend couldn't hear what she was saying to me, but he heard my response. He asked me what she said, I told him. He told her to knock it off, and he bought me and Ted each a drink. I love this town. Probably didn't hurt that both my brother and Phil are each about twice this guy's size.

But, "Bring it!" is exactly what I have to say to 2010. I am excited. A lot of people I know are glad to bid good riddance to 2009. It was a pretty good year for me personally, but a lot of growing pains as well. Some I have talked about here, some I have not. In the case of "not," it was most often because I needed a little time to lick my wounds, and then by the time I managed to do that, something good had happened and I was over whatever rotten thing had happened, and it no longer seemed worth talking about. But I told you I would tell you the good with the bad, so maybe I should recap the bad a little bit, just to throw the final shovel of dirt on it.

First and foremost, being rejected by the Maryland Film Festival. That one still smarts. Since they received an early version of "Smalltimore", that could have something to do with it. I did hand-deliver an updated version, the same version that was accepted to three film festivals after that, but I don't know how likely it is that they watched it a second time and at the last minute. So, I could have rationalized all that to myself. But what made me mad was that the MFF did not have one single homegrown feature. Not. One. Out of approximately 100 time slots. There were a smattering of Baltimore/Maryland made shorts in the shorts programs, but not one feature length film made in Baltimore or Maryland. That really pissed me off, particularly because the MFF offers a discounted submission fee for films that are at least 50% filmed in Baltimore or Maryland. I think that is very misleading advertising and unfair. I find it hard to believe that not one decent local feature was submitted to them.

I've held my tongue about it for a long time, because we do indeed live in Smalltimore, and I don't want to burn any bridges. I even know a few people who work for the MFF and who sometimes read this blog. I myself am even a Friends of the Festival member! The MFF is a very well-run festival, and the FOF has fantastic events year-round, that I try to take part in whenever I can. The MFF does have a disclaimer on their website that it is not a "local" festival. I just think that offering that discount is false advertising. And I think it would be going against the very reasons I started this blog to not tell you that.

In the end, though, the MFF did me a huge favor by rejecting "Smalltimore". This is the one town I have a guaranteed audience and can make a little money back on it. At our sold-out screening at the Wind-Up Space on May 3, I collected enough money at the door to pay for my airfare and lodging to attend the Heart of England Film Festival in June. Had I been accepted by the MFF, I would not have had that private screening, would not have been able to afford to go to England. The other thing about the MFF, though it is becoming more prestigious every year and they bring some incredible films to Baltimore that we would not be likely to see otherwise - it is a non-competitive film festival. No prizes, no awards. The "Best Director," award I received at Indie Fest in California has already helped to open some doors for me. It also looks great on my resume and on the cover of the DVD!

Other rejections that I have not yet mentioned this year... I applied for the Brown Fellowship at the Bromo-Seltzer Tower. Every two years an artist is awarded a free two-year lease of a studio within the building. I really wanted that, it would have been great to have a real office and would have lent me a great deal of street cred. But, it was a very long shot, as they are really looking more for painters, sculptors, etc, who in some ways need the space more than someone like me. So I can live with that, and I didn't really expect to get it, though I tried hard anyway and I think I put in a good application.

More recently I found out that I did not win the Creative Alliance Movie Makers Fellowship. I knew I had a much better chance of getting this one. As it turns out, I did receive an Honorable Mention (and $100 gear rental credit), so that was cool. And I'll throw that on my resume also! I don't know who the fellowship went to, they haven't announced it yet, but I knew I would have some stiff competition and I am sure that whoever won it is very deserving. I will let you know who when I find out!

While it would have been AMAZING to be awarded one or both of these fellowships, either one would tie me down just a little bit to Baltimore. Right now I have zero strings attached, and I think that is the position that I need to be in, so that I can keep a very open mind to wherever my opportunities might lead me. Much like being rejected by the MFF, I think that in time, not winning these fellowships will prove to be a good thing for me, believe it or not.

Right this minute I am very excited because I am back in the thick of things, co-producing Steve Yeager's latest feature, "The Rosens." Steve invited me to be his co-producer back in August, but due to everyone's schedules, we haven't been able to shoot a lot since then, so I haven't been able to do much to earn the title. Steve and I often work the same way, i.e., trying to do everything ourselves for our own shoots, so I have been hammering at him lately to let me take things off his plate. I finally wedged that door open and now it seems the floodgates have opened! That's a good thing, I like it. I got an email from Steve, well, actually like six emails, detailing scheduling issues and a healthy list of locations needed tout de suite. I didn't read these emails until about midnight. WHich means I didn't get to sleep until after 5:00am because my brain wouldn't shut off. It is like he handed me a Rubik's Cube and I couldn't relax until I solved it. I figured out what to do for 3 of the 5 locations, and figured out how to totally scrap the fourth one. But the fifth one was driving me crazy, and it wasn't until after 4:00am I had a "eureka!" moment. I got out of bed and wrote down all the locations on the dry erase board on my fridge so I wouldn't forget them. Regardless of how hard I tried to turn my brain off, I spent the next hour doing blocking of the actors in my head and envisioning the camera angles to give the best production values. I dreamt about the production and continued working things out in my sleep, and I was still thinking about it when the dogs woke me up to be fed three hours later.

I talked to Steve today and we worked a bunch of things out. I should, in theory, be able to relax tonight at my friend's New Year's Eve party. Champagne does wonders for that.

Anyway... as I've said before, I always land on my feet. I have a few other irons in a few more fires that I can't tell you about yet, that might pull me, physically, away from Charm City. Though I grew up in the Pittsburgh area and later spent 10 years in D.C., it is Baltimore that is truly my home now. Not only because I made it my home, but because Baltimore made itself my home. It practically insisted. It won't be easy to leave, if I indeed do, but the good and bad thing about Baltimore, is that nothing much changes here. No one ever leaves entirely. And the best part is, is that I have created my own little time capsule in "Smalltimore," capturing my friends and the feelings I have about this city in a moving snapshot, for, as they say, posterity. So, farewell 2009, and thanks for the memories... and 2010: BRING IT! Can't wait to see what comes next!