Back to Basics

[Me and my best friend from high school, Lauren, on our last adventure to the Football Hall of Fame, August 2009]

Man, I am wiped out. In the past 35 days, I have been on the set ten days on "Lamplight," including an overnight trip to Bethany Beach, 1 day on "The Rosens," 6 days on "Rock Creek," in D.C. (so add 3 hours of commuting time to each of those days), taught my Pre-Production class at the Creative Alliance, hosted the April Cinelounge meeting also at Creative Alliance, had two yard sales, read and reviewed a feature-length script for Michelle, and had a meeting with my friend Jen Swartout about a short she wants to do. And probably some other stuff I am forgetting. Good thing I am unemployed at the moment. Who has time for a job?

Have several meetings lined up in the next couple days, hopefully one or two that might lead to some paying gigs this summer. Baltimore does not seem quite ready to let me go yet. To make matters better/worse/more complicated, I keep meeting/working with cool people on the set that make me want to stay in the area so I can work on projects with them.

Of course, "Lamplight," as I have already told you, has been a blast, and we are not quite through yet. Have another day on the set with Jason Koch and the like on Tuesday, and another trip to the beach next month when Johnny Alonso is back in town. Jason and another person I met on his set, Mauricio Osorio, were kind enough to volunteer to work a few days in D.C. on my friend Mark Aguirre's project, "Rock Creek". It was great on those days to have someone with me on the long, irritating drive to and from D.C. I can't believe people do that commute every day! We saw so many car accidents, and Thursday night when Jason was with me we had to drive back in a torrential downpour. Jason and I have become great friends and we talk all the time now, and already have talked about working on several new projects together in the next few months. It has been fun getting to know Mauricio better also. He has had footage for a fantastic documentary in the can for several years now, and I am lighting a fire under him to get it finished. I am hoping he'll have a short or a trailer ready for the May Cinelounge, I'll tell you more about that as it comes together, but I am very anxious to see him finish it, I think it is going to be beautiful.

On the set of "Rock Creek," I have met even more folks that I want to work with again, namely Rob Benica (DP), Chip Burden (sound), and Jae Shim (grip/PA). Mark (writer/director) really challenged himself and the crew with this piece, we had a lot of locations, including federal parks, which are always a pain because you have no choice but to do things by the book, and some scenes that take place at Christmas so there was loads of set dressing. By our last day of shooting (though we have one pick-up day to go) on Friday, we were all getting a bit punchy, and since the actors had to do wardrobe and make-up in a separate location, it was more hurry-up-and-wait than usual. Most of the day we were in Rock Creek Park, which was lovely, if chilly, so sometimes it was myself and four guys sitting in Rob's car waiting for Mark to get back with the actors. Peppered in with the usual movie talk (comparing favorite flicks and arguing about best/worst films ever), the guys exchanged anecdotes about masturbation and who their first wet dream was about. Most of the time I enjoy being the only (or one of the few) women on a crew. Sometimes, not so much.

I wasn't really offended, though I stopped them before we got to that point. They are good guys and we had fun. At the beginning of the day, Rob told me that my job was to remind him to put the polarizing lens on the camera before we started shooting. Since I am not really a camera person, and I was likely to forget this, I wrote it on the palm of my hand. Somehow this turned into a "thing". Every once in awhile I would flash the palm of my hand at Rob, and he would shout out, "POLARIZEEEEER!!!" in this high-pitched voice. Just one of those stupid-funny things that evolve on a set when you need to distract and entertain yourselves, especially when things get stressful. It even made Mark laugh after the park police came by and kicked us out after threatening to arrest us because our permit had expired.

I am a little frustrated because of the three projects I have been working on, none of them is quite wrapped, and I really want to put them all to bed and move on. "Rock Creek," has a day left, "Lamplight" has 2 or 3 short days, and "The Rosens," probably has a solid 4 or 5 days of shooting to get everything in the can. Pile on top of that that I have to move at the end of the month and have had no time to myself or time to really pack because I've been so busy on these projects, and I am a bit stressed out. But, relief is on the way. Thursday I am heading to Pennsyltucky to visit my Mom and to drop off some things at her place that she is going to store for me, and then I am kidnapping one of my best friends, Lauren, to go up to Mikey's cabin for the weekend. I need to take some things up to Mikey's for storage also, but mostly I just need some distance from my life so I can get some perspective on everything. I am feeling a bit muddled at the moment.

Right now it is looking like, once I vacate my apartment at the end of the month, I am going to stay at the cabin for about 6 weeks, but come back to Baltimore several times to finish up some projects and to spend my birthday with my friends. I'm still in Baltimore the first week of May, though, as I will be hosting Cinelounge again so I am crashing at my friend Elizabeth's for a few days. I don't know if I am going to hang around for the Maryland Film Festival or not. I want to and I should, but I guess I will play that by ear. I am anxious to get to the cabin and clear my head. This weekend there with Lauren will dust away some of the cobwebs, but it is also about catching up with her and having fun, giving her a break from her daily responsibilities of house/husband/kids, not time totally to myself, which I will very much be in need of by next month.

It seems I will be working on a one-day shoot with my friend Jen Swartout around June 6, and my friend Ronnie Goodwin from Glasgow will be in NYC on June 2, with his short titled, "Shooter," in a film festival up there, so I want to go to NYC again to catch him there (I am going to NYC this month also, to see Bentley's piece in a group exhibit called "Dead or Alive" at the Museum of Art & Design). But I think New York is going to have to wait a little longer for me. After Jen's shoot, I am still determined to take my cross-country road trip. Depending on if/when the paying gigs this summer start will determine how long the trip will be and when I need to return to Charm City. I am hoping that they will carry me through September, then at the end of that month I am going back to the Outer Banks for a week with the same friends I traveled with last year. Last night I handed my friend Alvina the $500 I made from my yard sales, so that even if I am living in a cardboard box by then, I am going on vacation at the end of September!

So long story short, absolutely nothing is in stone, and I am not really worried about it. I am looking forward to having all my wordly belongings packed up in a POD and spirited away, and only having my dogs and a couple suitcases of clothing to worry about. Right now I am feeling every ounce of my possessions weighing on my shoulders. I just want them to be away from me so I can concentrate on what will truly make me happy. I am always pretty happy, but I feel like I am about to experience a sense of freedom that I have never fully felt before, and I am anxious to get on with it. I am also very much looking forward to my weekend at my dear friend Mikey's cabin in the Poconos with my dear friend Lauren. Like I've said before, it is a good reminder to me that if you love someone and they love you, geography doesn't mean a thing. C'est vrai.

Bring It!

That is exactly what I said to the drunk woman at the Cat's Eye Pub in Fells Point on Sunday night, when she kept telling me she was going to kick my ass for wearing my Steelers jersey. I was there with my brother Ted and friend Phil Calvert to see T.T.Tucker & the Bum Rush Band, among others, giving their yearly tribute to our departed friend, Thom Hickling. Phil, of course, plays the fictionalized version of Thom in "Smalltimore." We had a fantastic time, from what I remember, but this woman beside us kept tugging hard on my jersey and slurring in my ear, "Ahm gonna kick yer asss..." At first it was amusing, as in this town, threats of violence regarding rival sports teams are most often said in jest. After the third time is when I loudly responded, "Bring it!" to her. By now I was certain that the most work I would have to do is duck a slow-motion punch or just give her a good shove. Since the music was loud, her boyfriend couldn't hear what she was saying to me, but he heard my response. He asked me what she said, I told him. He told her to knock it off, and he bought me and Ted each a drink. I love this town. Probably didn't hurt that both my brother and Phil are each about twice this guy's size.

But, "Bring it!" is exactly what I have to say to 2010. I am excited. A lot of people I know are glad to bid good riddance to 2009. It was a pretty good year for me personally, but a lot of growing pains as well. Some I have talked about here, some I have not. In the case of "not," it was most often because I needed a little time to lick my wounds, and then by the time I managed to do that, something good had happened and I was over whatever rotten thing had happened, and it no longer seemed worth talking about. But I told you I would tell you the good with the bad, so maybe I should recap the bad a little bit, just to throw the final shovel of dirt on it.

First and foremost, being rejected by the Maryland Film Festival. That one still smarts. Since they received an early version of "Smalltimore", that could have something to do with it. I did hand-deliver an updated version, the same version that was accepted to three film festivals after that, but I don't know how likely it is that they watched it a second time and at the last minute. So, I could have rationalized all that to myself. But what made me mad was that the MFF did not have one single homegrown feature. Not. One. Out of approximately 100 time slots. There were a smattering of Baltimore/Maryland made shorts in the shorts programs, but not one feature length film made in Baltimore or Maryland. That really pissed me off, particularly because the MFF offers a discounted submission fee for films that are at least 50% filmed in Baltimore or Maryland. I think that is very misleading advertising and unfair. I find it hard to believe that not one decent local feature was submitted to them.

I've held my tongue about it for a long time, because we do indeed live in Smalltimore, and I don't want to burn any bridges. I even know a few people who work for the MFF and who sometimes read this blog. I myself am even a Friends of the Festival member! The MFF is a very well-run festival, and the FOF has fantastic events year-round, that I try to take part in whenever I can. The MFF does have a disclaimer on their website that it is not a "local" festival. I just think that offering that discount is false advertising. And I think it would be going against the very reasons I started this blog to not tell you that.

In the end, though, the MFF did me a huge favor by rejecting "Smalltimore". This is the one town I have a guaranteed audience and can make a little money back on it. At our sold-out screening at the Wind-Up Space on May 3, I collected enough money at the door to pay for my airfare and lodging to attend the Heart of England Film Festival in June. Had I been accepted by the MFF, I would not have had that private screening, would not have been able to afford to go to England. The other thing about the MFF, though it is becoming more prestigious every year and they bring some incredible films to Baltimore that we would not be likely to see otherwise - it is a non-competitive film festival. No prizes, no awards. The "Best Director," award I received at Indie Fest in California has already helped to open some doors for me. It also looks great on my resume and on the cover of the DVD!

Other rejections that I have not yet mentioned this year... I applied for the Brown Fellowship at the Bromo-Seltzer Tower. Every two years an artist is awarded a free two-year lease of a studio within the building. I really wanted that, it would have been great to have a real office and would have lent me a great deal of street cred. But, it was a very long shot, as they are really looking more for painters, sculptors, etc, who in some ways need the space more than someone like me. So I can live with that, and I didn't really expect to get it, though I tried hard anyway and I think I put in a good application.

More recently I found out that I did not win the Creative Alliance Movie Makers Fellowship. I knew I had a much better chance of getting this one. As it turns out, I did receive an Honorable Mention (and $100 gear rental credit), so that was cool. And I'll throw that on my resume also! I don't know who the fellowship went to, they haven't announced it yet, but I knew I would have some stiff competition and I am sure that whoever won it is very deserving. I will let you know who when I find out!

While it would have been AMAZING to be awarded one or both of these fellowships, either one would tie me down just a little bit to Baltimore. Right now I have zero strings attached, and I think that is the position that I need to be in, so that I can keep a very open mind to wherever my opportunities might lead me. Much like being rejected by the MFF, I think that in time, not winning these fellowships will prove to be a good thing for me, believe it or not.

Right this minute I am very excited because I am back in the thick of things, co-producing Steve Yeager's latest feature, "The Rosens." Steve invited me to be his co-producer back in August, but due to everyone's schedules, we haven't been able to shoot a lot since then, so I haven't been able to do much to earn the title. Steve and I often work the same way, i.e., trying to do everything ourselves for our own shoots, so I have been hammering at him lately to let me take things off his plate. I finally wedged that door open and now it seems the floodgates have opened! That's a good thing, I like it. I got an email from Steve, well, actually like six emails, detailing scheduling issues and a healthy list of locations needed tout de suite. I didn't read these emails until about midnight. WHich means I didn't get to sleep until after 5:00am because my brain wouldn't shut off. It is like he handed me a Rubik's Cube and I couldn't relax until I solved it. I figured out what to do for 3 of the 5 locations, and figured out how to totally scrap the fourth one. But the fifth one was driving me crazy, and it wasn't until after 4:00am I had a "eureka!" moment. I got out of bed and wrote down all the locations on the dry erase board on my fridge so I wouldn't forget them. Regardless of how hard I tried to turn my brain off, I spent the next hour doing blocking of the actors in my head and envisioning the camera angles to give the best production values. I dreamt about the production and continued working things out in my sleep, and I was still thinking about it when the dogs woke me up to be fed three hours later.

I talked to Steve today and we worked a bunch of things out. I should, in theory, be able to relax tonight at my friend's New Year's Eve party. Champagne does wonders for that.

Anyway... as I've said before, I always land on my feet. I have a few other irons in a few more fires that I can't tell you about yet, that might pull me, physically, away from Charm City. Though I grew up in the Pittsburgh area and later spent 10 years in D.C., it is Baltimore that is truly my home now. Not only because I made it my home, but because Baltimore made itself my home. It practically insisted. It won't be easy to leave, if I indeed do, but the good and bad thing about Baltimore, is that nothing much changes here. No one ever leaves entirely. And the best part is, is that I have created my own little time capsule in "Smalltimore," capturing my friends and the feelings I have about this city in a moving snapshot, for, as they say, posterity. So, farewell 2009, and thanks for the memories... and 2010: BRING IT! Can't wait to see what comes next!