Scattered Pictures...

(Me during rehearsals for Smalltimore, way back in July of 2008, also known as, yesterday. Photo by Richard Payne)

I recently found a file containing photos from "Smalltimore" rehearsals that I have not previously published. As I sit in my home office, surrounded by hard drives and head shots, I am kind of floored about where I am right now, compared to the moments captured in these photos, only two and a half years ago.

It may be hard to tell from the above photo, but actually I was really happy. This was not a posed shot, I was honestly engrossed in what the actors were doing. I'll share some photos of that at the end of this post. Maybe I wasn't so much happy as... focused. I want to be able to look back at that time, of those two grueling weeks of production that came after 4 months of non-stop pre-production, and tell you how much fun I had. And I did, sometimes, but most of the time I looked exactly like this photo, i.e., stressed. That is just how I look when I am thinking. The good thing about it is, it keeps people from interrupting me while I am thinking because they are a little bit frightened of me when I am in that state. The bad thing is that I continue to look like this when, say, someone snaps a photo of me.

I could be wrong, but I think I actually look younger now than I do in this photograph. I AM thinking, and focused, right this minute, but I am also smiling from ear to ear. Yesterday I sealed a deal with a client who contracted me to adapt a script for her; we are in pre-production now. I'll be producing and directing her film this summer. Today I received a letter from the Creative Alliance, to confirm that I will be teaching two film-related classes there in April. Today I also introduced some of the soundtrack artists from "Smalltimore" to Chris LaMartina, writer/director of "Witch's Brew" that I worked on last summer. Hopefully he can use some of their music for that soundtrack. Tonight I had a casting call with another client, for a music video we are shooting next month. I'm also producing and directing that, and likely shooting both with my partner in crime, Director of Photography Extraordinaire, Michelle Farrell. Tomorrow I have a lunch meeting with a gentleman who is starting up a new film festival here in Baltimore, the Baltimore Film Festival International. I'll be speaking at their event this coming Monday evening (2/7), at Breathe Books in Hampden. After that appointment tomorrow, I will be meeting with Jineara Dawn, a young filmmaker and actor with whom I have worked on several projects. We have at least three projects to talk about, that I want to get her on board. Friday night I'll be attending my friend Mauricio Osorio's premiere of his documentary, "On One Field," at the Creative Alliance. It received an amazing write-up in today's City Paper, check it out! Later this month I will be working on the next-to-last shoot for Steve Yeager's film, "The Rosens". This is the opening of the film, a scene which I wrote.

Sounds exciting, doesn't it? It is, despite the fact that I lost my job-job (and health insurance, and living quarters, and cushy paycheck) eleven months ago. If the subject comes up in conversation, sometimes when I tell people that, they give me the sad face and say they are so sorry. I'm not. Not for a minute. It doesn't come up much anymore, and I am trying not to let it come up at all. It was another life, a lifetime ago. I no longer have one foot in the boat and one on the nice, safe pier. I am sailing the seven seas! No longer am I a former hotel manager. I am a filmmaker. That is all.



[Cheryl Scungio, one of the most dedicated actors I have ever worked with.]



[My boys! Johnny Benson, Darik Bernard, and Phil Calvert. I love this photo.]



[Kelly Coston, Johnny, and Cheryl, rehearsing one of my favorite scenes in the movie. It wasn't really an important scene, but the chemistry between the three is amazing and hilarious.]



[Kyle Holtgren and Kelly. Good lord, we laughed so much during rehearsal for this scene! Why didn't anyone take a picture of me then?!]



[Orlando Gonzales, Joyce J. Scott, and Cheryl. I have published this photo before, but it is one of my favorites. There is no scene where Gracie (Cheryl) hugs Mrs. Talford (Joyce). I can't remember exactly what happened, but either Orlando or Cheryl screwed up their line in a way that if taken out of context could be seen as offensive. And Joyce can just NEVER let something like that slide. She had us all cracking up.]



[Orlando catching his breath between rehearsing make-out sessions with Cheryl. He turned Snooki down for a make-out session in a club in Miami last year! I am not making this up.]



[and finally... if that a...? It is! A SMILE!!! It was an amazing experience, that played a big part in where I find myself today. I thank everyone in these photos, plus the rest of the cast and crew, for being a part of it. Yay, memories...]

Soaking Up The Sun

[Sunset on Lake Harmony. You didn't think I would be up at sunRISE, did you?]

I didn't really tell anyone I was coming up to Mikey's cabin, not even Mikey, until I was walking out my door, and he didn't get the message and get back to me until I was arriving at his. Friends with real estate are the best friends to have, I say. He's working, so he's not here, just me and the pups... and the chipmunks, who won't shut up, and the deer, who don't make a peep, and the rain, which makes a much different sound falling on soft earth than it does on harsh pavement. I needed this.

Just needed a few days of nothingness to clear my head and get some work done. On my plate: a contract to finalize with Michelle to grant distribution rights so that our short, The Red-Headed Menace, can be added as a special feature to her DVD of "Unraveling Michelle" when it receives distribution later this summer; a ballpark proposal to PM/AD a short over Labor Day weekend; reading through a 114 page script of a feature for a director who wants to shoot later this summer; wrapping my mind around the direction we need to go in for a sort of historical fiction short I am directing next month, for our rehearsal on Tuesday; ready a proposal letter for a major project of my own that needs to get off the ground in the next 2 weeks and will take at least a year to complete; finalizing a few details for shooting on Steve Yeager's feature, "The Rosens," our biggest and most important scene yet, on Saturday; and finally, Facebook blasting about Monday's Cinelounge meeting at The Creative Alliance. There would have been another feature script to read, but I haven't received the copy yet, so maybe next week on that one. Might need a second retreat to the woods!

My birthday was on Monday, so I had an awesome three-day weekend celebration. Saturday, went to a D.C. United game (first time to a pro soccer game) with a group of friends. My friend Elizabeth's boyfriend Paul is a member of a fan group called La Barra Brava. They are nuts, my kinda people! We had a blast. Sunday we went to the track, Charles Town, a birthday tradition. First time in four years I have not won "big" (apparently, the trick is to go ON my actual birthday), but still had a great time. And Monday, my friend Alvina hosted a birthday/Memorial Day cookout for me which was AWESOME and I have the tub of extra CoolWhip Sunshine Cake frosting to prove it!!! ...minus a few spoonfuls...

Some friends there, and elsewhere, have been asking, "So what about New York?" This is what I have to say about it, something I have thought a lot about: if I can make a living here in Charm City, doing what I love to do, in a city that I love more than any place I have ever lived or even any place I have ever visited, I will stay here. I don't need to be rich, I don't need to be famous. I need to be able to pay my rent, to feed and clothe myself, to afford to have a car and put gas in it, to socialize without regret, and to travel once in awhile. If I can do all those things comfortably, I would rather do that here than anywhere else on the planet. No kidding. If I won the lottery, yes, of course I would buy an apartment in Paris! But that would be my second home.

There are other things in the works as well, but I won't discuss publicly until they gel, for fear of jinxing them. Bottom line is, I am happy. I have moved out of the inn (where I previously worked/lived/got laid off from) and I now have a housemate in Charles Village, Lisa, who is awesome and will likely be mentioned in numerous blog posts (and immortalized in character in future film projects, because she is HILARIOUS - to the point I feel I should be legally able to write off my monthly rent as a business expense, as character research). Life is good. There is a line from a Sheryl Crow song that says,

It's not having what you want, It's wanting what you've got.

At the moment, I feel I have both. If that changes, I'll do something about it. But right now, if you don't mind, there is a chilled bottle of wine in the fridge singing to me its siren song...

Back to Basics

[Me and my best friend from high school, Lauren, on our last adventure to the Football Hall of Fame, August 2009]

Man, I am wiped out. In the past 35 days, I have been on the set ten days on "Lamplight," including an overnight trip to Bethany Beach, 1 day on "The Rosens," 6 days on "Rock Creek," in D.C. (so add 3 hours of commuting time to each of those days), taught my Pre-Production class at the Creative Alliance, hosted the April Cinelounge meeting also at Creative Alliance, had two yard sales, read and reviewed a feature-length script for Michelle, and had a meeting with my friend Jen Swartout about a short she wants to do. And probably some other stuff I am forgetting. Good thing I am unemployed at the moment. Who has time for a job?

Have several meetings lined up in the next couple days, hopefully one or two that might lead to some paying gigs this summer. Baltimore does not seem quite ready to let me go yet. To make matters better/worse/more complicated, I keep meeting/working with cool people on the set that make me want to stay in the area so I can work on projects with them.

Of course, "Lamplight," as I have already told you, has been a blast, and we are not quite through yet. Have another day on the set with Jason Koch and the like on Tuesday, and another trip to the beach next month when Johnny Alonso is back in town. Jason and another person I met on his set, Mauricio Osorio, were kind enough to volunteer to work a few days in D.C. on my friend Mark Aguirre's project, "Rock Creek". It was great on those days to have someone with me on the long, irritating drive to and from D.C. I can't believe people do that commute every day! We saw so many car accidents, and Thursday night when Jason was with me we had to drive back in a torrential downpour. Jason and I have become great friends and we talk all the time now, and already have talked about working on several new projects together in the next few months. It has been fun getting to know Mauricio better also. He has had footage for a fantastic documentary in the can for several years now, and I am lighting a fire under him to get it finished. I am hoping he'll have a short or a trailer ready for the May Cinelounge, I'll tell you more about that as it comes together, but I am very anxious to see him finish it, I think it is going to be beautiful.

On the set of "Rock Creek," I have met even more folks that I want to work with again, namely Rob Benica (DP), Chip Burden (sound), and Jae Shim (grip/PA). Mark (writer/director) really challenged himself and the crew with this piece, we had a lot of locations, including federal parks, which are always a pain because you have no choice but to do things by the book, and some scenes that take place at Christmas so there was loads of set dressing. By our last day of shooting (though we have one pick-up day to go) on Friday, we were all getting a bit punchy, and since the actors had to do wardrobe and make-up in a separate location, it was more hurry-up-and-wait than usual. Most of the day we were in Rock Creek Park, which was lovely, if chilly, so sometimes it was myself and four guys sitting in Rob's car waiting for Mark to get back with the actors. Peppered in with the usual movie talk (comparing favorite flicks and arguing about best/worst films ever), the guys exchanged anecdotes about masturbation and who their first wet dream was about. Most of the time I enjoy being the only (or one of the few) women on a crew. Sometimes, not so much.

I wasn't really offended, though I stopped them before we got to that point. They are good guys and we had fun. At the beginning of the day, Rob told me that my job was to remind him to put the polarizing lens on the camera before we started shooting. Since I am not really a camera person, and I was likely to forget this, I wrote it on the palm of my hand. Somehow this turned into a "thing". Every once in awhile I would flash the palm of my hand at Rob, and he would shout out, "POLARIZEEEEER!!!" in this high-pitched voice. Just one of those stupid-funny things that evolve on a set when you need to distract and entertain yourselves, especially when things get stressful. It even made Mark laugh after the park police came by and kicked us out after threatening to arrest us because our permit had expired.

I am a little frustrated because of the three projects I have been working on, none of them is quite wrapped, and I really want to put them all to bed and move on. "Rock Creek," has a day left, "Lamplight" has 2 or 3 short days, and "The Rosens," probably has a solid 4 or 5 days of shooting to get everything in the can. Pile on top of that that I have to move at the end of the month and have had no time to myself or time to really pack because I've been so busy on these projects, and I am a bit stressed out. But, relief is on the way. Thursday I am heading to Pennsyltucky to visit my Mom and to drop off some things at her place that she is going to store for me, and then I am kidnapping one of my best friends, Lauren, to go up to Mikey's cabin for the weekend. I need to take some things up to Mikey's for storage also, but mostly I just need some distance from my life so I can get some perspective on everything. I am feeling a bit muddled at the moment.

Right now it is looking like, once I vacate my apartment at the end of the month, I am going to stay at the cabin for about 6 weeks, but come back to Baltimore several times to finish up some projects and to spend my birthday with my friends. I'm still in Baltimore the first week of May, though, as I will be hosting Cinelounge again so I am crashing at my friend Elizabeth's for a few days. I don't know if I am going to hang around for the Maryland Film Festival or not. I want to and I should, but I guess I will play that by ear. I am anxious to get to the cabin and clear my head. This weekend there with Lauren will dust away some of the cobwebs, but it is also about catching up with her and having fun, giving her a break from her daily responsibilities of house/husband/kids, not time totally to myself, which I will very much be in need of by next month.

It seems I will be working on a one-day shoot with my friend Jen Swartout around June 6, and my friend Ronnie Goodwin from Glasgow will be in NYC on June 2, with his short titled, "Shooter," in a film festival up there, so I want to go to NYC again to catch him there (I am going to NYC this month also, to see Bentley's piece in a group exhibit called "Dead or Alive" at the Museum of Art & Design). But I think New York is going to have to wait a little longer for me. After Jen's shoot, I am still determined to take my cross-country road trip. Depending on if/when the paying gigs this summer start will determine how long the trip will be and when I need to return to Charm City. I am hoping that they will carry me through September, then at the end of that month I am going back to the Outer Banks for a week with the same friends I traveled with last year. Last night I handed my friend Alvina the $500 I made from my yard sales, so that even if I am living in a cardboard box by then, I am going on vacation at the end of September!

So long story short, absolutely nothing is in stone, and I am not really worried about it. I am looking forward to having all my wordly belongings packed up in a POD and spirited away, and only having my dogs and a couple suitcases of clothing to worry about. Right now I am feeling every ounce of my possessions weighing on my shoulders. I just want them to be away from me so I can concentrate on what will truly make me happy. I am always pretty happy, but I feel like I am about to experience a sense of freedom that I have never fully felt before, and I am anxious to get on with it. I am also very much looking forward to my weekend at my dear friend Mikey's cabin in the Poconos with my dear friend Lauren. Like I've said before, it is a good reminder to me that if you love someone and they love you, geography doesn't mean a thing. C'est vrai.

Ya Give Me Fever...

[Many Baltimore roads and sidewalks are impassable, but when I really needed to shake off the cabin fever, I knew Dougherty's would not let me down. This passageway to their door was cut through a hard packed snowplow pile that was easily three feet tall and six feet from street to sidewalk. Because this is Baltimore, and that's how we roll.]

And more flakes are falling, even as I write this! Though relatively speaking, this is supposedly going to just be "a dusting". We'll see. Even the forecasters are admitting this thing could go either way and they have no idea how much we will get.

All I can say is, thank goodness for neighbors with four-wheel drive. Thank goodness for neighbors, period! One of the many things I love about this town. See, this is my car (a.k.a. C.K. Dexter Haven) at the moment:

Poor Dexter. I miss him. I put the cover on him before the first big storm and haven't seen him since. What was that, two weeks ago? I have lost all track of time. I was doing just fine, had plenty of "supplies", but I was down to the last can of dog food for each of my dogs. So neighbor Pete drove me to the vet for Max's food and the pet store for Timmy's food. Pete even drove me to my hair appointment in Fells Point yesterday, when I couldn't get a cab. Though I guess I will have to find one to and from my class at the Creative Alliance tomorrow night.

Later this week I am going to New York for a couple days, to see some friends and to (bump, bump, BAAAAAAHHH!!!!) take the written test for the Director's Guild of America Assistant Directors Training Program. Which happens to be taking place ONE BLOCK from where a good friend of mine lives, so I will be able to (in theory) get an extra hour of sleep. I have to be there at SEVEN A.M. Ouch. Though my dogs have me up that early all the time. But once I feed them they often let me go back to sleep.

Not so this Saturday. Again, thank goodness for neighbors, as other neighbors, my dogs' "Uncles" Phil & Ron will be taking care of my guys while I am in NYC taking this test. It is 4 to 5 hours long! I'm not scared, though. Writing is my thing, and I've always tested well. Still, the content is unknown and there is no way to study for it. They say it is mostly problem-solving. That is also what I do. I can't wait, actually! I am FAR more excited than I am nervous. I'll be very interested to see the mix of people taking the test. They say that about 300 people apply to the New York Program each year and they only accept 5 to 7. I don't know how many people they cut just from the application stage, but that step was my biggest concern, actually, and I am past that at least.

The snow was kind of stressing me out, though, only in that it might impede me from actually getting to New York. I had planned on taking the Bolt bus, which leaves a few blocks away from my house and would be $40 round trip maximum. But last week I decided I just coudn't chance it, so I shelled out almost 3 times that much, $115, for a train ticket. I prefer traveling by train, But I'd even more prefer having that extra $75 in my pocket, especially as I have less than two weeks left of gainful employment. But I cannot take the slightest chance of not making it to this test.

That's really all I have to say about that for now, though. I'm not the type to wring my hands over, "what if it doesn't happen? What if I don't get in?" The only thing I can do about it is to do my best, and let the cards fall where they may.

In other movie news, there are a couple of indie screenings in town that I am very excited about. Tonight, as a matter of fact, Regina Guy dies a horrible death in the local indie horror, "President's Day," at the Charles Theater, 7:30pm. The only thing Regina likes better than being onscreen is being killed onscreen. I've seen some of the movie stills... and I think I am going to be watching a great deal of this movie from between my fingers, with my hands over my eyes. Next week, "Heaven Burns," is screening in Towson. I know a bunch of people who worked on that and I have heard great things, so I am very excited to check that out also.

The horror short I am working on with Zinnia Films will be kicking off soon, though we have to postpone shooting the exteriors for obvious reasons, not the least of which is, there is no place to park in this town! Side streets where it is legal to park are a mess, and for now it is still illegal to park on the main corridors because it is still a Snow Emergency. They towed 15 to 20 cars off my block of Calvert Street last night, starting at midnight. Bet there were a lot of ticked off people this morning.

It is almost a good thing I will be unemployed in March, because between Jason's (Zinnia Films) movie (10-12 shooting days, including about 48 hours in Bethany/Ocean City), Steve Yeager's movie (probably 6-7 shooting days), teaching my pre-production class at the Creative Alliance on Saturday, March 27th, and attending the Stonehenge auditions in D.C. (shooting schedules permitting) on March 28th, I might have only 9 or so days that I am not committed to something. Plus two other people's projects that I might get involved with on top of those. Oh, well, it should keep me out of trouble at least. Yea, right.

Tune in next week to hear about my jaunt to the Big Apple! Drive safely!

Clean Slate, Full Plate

Don't you love the first week of January? It's like the first day of school, or moving to a new city. So full of possibilities and delusions of grandeur!

Sorry I haven't been writing much, but I can see my blog stats are down, so you haven't been reading much anyway. I know, the holidays, I won't take it personally. Same here. Also I don't like posting without a photo to give you and there just hasn't been anything photo-worthy lately. I'll try to correct that very soon.

I took a nice little break for a few weeks, following the successful Smalltimore screening & DVD release party on December 9th. Got through the holidays relatively unscathed. Pretty low-drama Christmas at my uncle's and an intimate gathering of friends on New Year's Eve. Nothing crazy, and that was good. And though I can never totally stop talking about Smalltimore/filmmaking (because people never stop asking, and that is also good), other than my New Year's Day interview on L.A. Talk Radio (see link in the sidebar) I didn't do any actual film-related work for a solid 2-3 weeks.

It was a break I was looking forward to, but I am glad it is over as it was getting a little boring and I am anxious to get back on the set, ANY set.In the past week a lot of cool stuff has come up. I hope it all pans out, we'll see. This seems to be the time of year where, much like everyone swears to quit smoking or lose 20 pounds, they also swear to get their film projects off the ground. But the best of intentions are often waylaid by a lack of funds.

In the next 3-6 months, I may be working (PM/AD) on a feature in St. Louis, another PM/AD position in Baltimore, writing on a project in NYC, directing a project in Baltimore, and even acting in a small role locally as well. May be co-producing on a short or two also. We'll see what comes to fruition. I hope they all do, but that would probably be too much to ask. In my spare moments now I am researching for two different features I want to write, and I need to reschedule the shoot for the short I was supposed to do in November that got cancelled when Michelle got sick. Probably March or April for that. I still need to continue pushing Smalltimore, and I am working on brokering a deal with a couple local shops to sell the DVDs on consignment for me. Also need to start pursuing studio distribution, haven't even touched that yet. As I have mentioned, I will also probably be losing my "real" job, and quite possibly my apartment, in the next few months. Trying not to think or worry about that, as there is not much I can do about it anyway. My friends assure me that they will not allow me to live in a cardboard box, so I know I'll be okay anyway around it.

The January meeting of the Creative Alliance Movie Makers was a really good one, focusing on cross-pollination between local filmmakers and local music artists. I even saw a young woman, Winona, there, that I had met a year ago when I spoke to her film class at UMBC. Good to see that she is sticking with it and reaching out to make contacts within the community. Lois Tuttle, a board member of the Baltimore Songwriter's Association, gave a short presentation. I have always said that there is NO excuse for making a movie in Baltimore with a bad soundtrack. Too many talented people here who would love to have their music in a movie. Next month is the semi-annual mini tradeshow, looking forward to that also. Last night I attended for the first time the monthly meeting of the Baltimore chapter of Women in Film & Video. Arlette Fletcher, President of the chapter, invited me to come and screen a trailer for Smalltimore as well as my short The Red-Headed Menace. The threat of snow kept a lot of people away so attendance was low, but it was a nice little meeting at Blue Rock Studios off of Reisterstown Road. The short was well-received and though I didn't actually sell any copies of Smalltimore, I was able to trade one for a copy of a local documentary titled, "Going All Pro". I was lucky enough to already see this doc, that focuses on a local beer vendor at sporting events known as "Fancy Clancy". It is really good and might possibly screen soon at the Creative Alliance. I saw it because I screened it for the Members Committee. Two thumbs up from me! If you get a chance to see it, go.

I have been doing a bit of that lately, trading copies of my feature for other indie features or copies of my short for other indie shorts. It is kind of cool to have movies that no one else has, and also to get your product in front of your peers in this manner. I have even swapped with some people that I met at the festivals I went to in England, Philadelphia, and California.

What else is going on... oh, full throttle back in production with Steve Yeager on his latest feature, "The Rosens." I spent a few hours with Steve Yesterday, scouting a handful of locations I came up with for him for our remaining scenes, going over schedules etc. I also re-read the entire script last weekend and broke down the remaining scenes for scheduling purposes, and in the process dredged up about a hundred new questions and suggestions for Steve, which we addressed point by point over lunch at City Cafe. I was afraid I might drive him crazy but he seems to appreciate how thorough I try to be. It's cool to talk things out and have your suggestions met with a positive response from someone you respect. These are the things that make it worth it to me to "pay your dues." I took Steve's Acting For The Camera workshop at the Creative Alliance a year and a half ago. Getting a taste of acting for the camera was a great experience and made me a better director, but I had already shot Smalltimore by then. The larger reason I took Steve's class was because I knew him by reputation and I wanted to get to know him better, with the even larger goal of working on a project with him at some point. A month after I took his class, he asked me to be an extra in a scene. Five months after that he asked me to be his AD. Three months after that he asked me to be his Co-Producer. Mission accomplished.

Oh, and coming up next weekend is the screening of the short I worked on in Virginia over Labor Day Weekend with Michelle, "Please God, Someone Normal." That set was pure fun from beginning to end and I am as anxious to see everyone from the set as I am to see the finished product!

This month, after a two-month reprieve (as there are very few film festivals taking place in the winter months), I should be hearing from the last handful of festivals I submitted Smalltimore to. I was rejected by the San Francisco Indie Fest, which is a drag because my friend Adam's film, "My Movie Girl," was accepted. I met Adam at the Philadelphia Independent Film Festival, and we really wanted to screen together, plus I have a free place to stay in San Fran which would have been sweet. On the other hand, though, I am really broke, and trying to pay off credit cards before I lose my job, so possibly a blessing in disguise. I'll let you know how the rest pan out.

Anyway... So, I am busy. And I am happy. Both of those things keep me out of trouble :) Now that you have an overview of the many irons I have in many fires, I'll try to stick to updating about one or two of them per blog entry. Stick with me and see what happens next! I promise to get you some photos real soon. Happy New Year, I hope it is a great one for all of you!

Catch As Catch Can

Hey there! If you are new to the blog, just stumbled upon it, recently heard about "Smalltimore" or one of my other projects, or recently met me, feel free to read back through some of my posts on my previous blogs (links in the sidebar), "Smalltimore, the Movie," (12/08-12/09) or "Charm City" (12/07-12/08). Everything you wanted to know about the trials, tribulations, and absolute minutia of making an independent film. Plus learn the names of my dogs, my favorite vacation spots, my personal pinnacles and deepest disappointments of the last two years. It's a stalker's dream come true. Welcome!

Bring It!

That is exactly what I said to the drunk woman at the Cat's Eye Pub in Fells Point on Sunday night, when she kept telling me she was going to kick my ass for wearing my Steelers jersey. I was there with my brother Ted and friend Phil Calvert to see T.T.Tucker & the Bum Rush Band, among others, giving their yearly tribute to our departed friend, Thom Hickling. Phil, of course, plays the fictionalized version of Thom in "Smalltimore." We had a fantastic time, from what I remember, but this woman beside us kept tugging hard on my jersey and slurring in my ear, "Ahm gonna kick yer asss..." At first it was amusing, as in this town, threats of violence regarding rival sports teams are most often said in jest. After the third time is when I loudly responded, "Bring it!" to her. By now I was certain that the most work I would have to do is duck a slow-motion punch or just give her a good shove. Since the music was loud, her boyfriend couldn't hear what she was saying to me, but he heard my response. He asked me what she said, I told him. He told her to knock it off, and he bought me and Ted each a drink. I love this town. Probably didn't hurt that both my brother and Phil are each about twice this guy's size.

But, "Bring it!" is exactly what I have to say to 2010. I am excited. A lot of people I know are glad to bid good riddance to 2009. It was a pretty good year for me personally, but a lot of growing pains as well. Some I have talked about here, some I have not. In the case of "not," it was most often because I needed a little time to lick my wounds, and then by the time I managed to do that, something good had happened and I was over whatever rotten thing had happened, and it no longer seemed worth talking about. But I told you I would tell you the good with the bad, so maybe I should recap the bad a little bit, just to throw the final shovel of dirt on it.

First and foremost, being rejected by the Maryland Film Festival. That one still smarts. Since they received an early version of "Smalltimore", that could have something to do with it. I did hand-deliver an updated version, the same version that was accepted to three film festivals after that, but I don't know how likely it is that they watched it a second time and at the last minute. So, I could have rationalized all that to myself. But what made me mad was that the MFF did not have one single homegrown feature. Not. One. Out of approximately 100 time slots. There were a smattering of Baltimore/Maryland made shorts in the shorts programs, but not one feature length film made in Baltimore or Maryland. That really pissed me off, particularly because the MFF offers a discounted submission fee for films that are at least 50% filmed in Baltimore or Maryland. I think that is very misleading advertising and unfair. I find it hard to believe that not one decent local feature was submitted to them.

I've held my tongue about it for a long time, because we do indeed live in Smalltimore, and I don't want to burn any bridges. I even know a few people who work for the MFF and who sometimes read this blog. I myself am even a Friends of the Festival member! The MFF is a very well-run festival, and the FOF has fantastic events year-round, that I try to take part in whenever I can. The MFF does have a disclaimer on their website that it is not a "local" festival. I just think that offering that discount is false advertising. And I think it would be going against the very reasons I started this blog to not tell you that.

In the end, though, the MFF did me a huge favor by rejecting "Smalltimore". This is the one town I have a guaranteed audience and can make a little money back on it. At our sold-out screening at the Wind-Up Space on May 3, I collected enough money at the door to pay for my airfare and lodging to attend the Heart of England Film Festival in June. Had I been accepted by the MFF, I would not have had that private screening, would not have been able to afford to go to England. The other thing about the MFF, though it is becoming more prestigious every year and they bring some incredible films to Baltimore that we would not be likely to see otherwise - it is a non-competitive film festival. No prizes, no awards. The "Best Director," award I received at Indie Fest in California has already helped to open some doors for me. It also looks great on my resume and on the cover of the DVD!

Other rejections that I have not yet mentioned this year... I applied for the Brown Fellowship at the Bromo-Seltzer Tower. Every two years an artist is awarded a free two-year lease of a studio within the building. I really wanted that, it would have been great to have a real office and would have lent me a great deal of street cred. But, it was a very long shot, as they are really looking more for painters, sculptors, etc, who in some ways need the space more than someone like me. So I can live with that, and I didn't really expect to get it, though I tried hard anyway and I think I put in a good application.

More recently I found out that I did not win the Creative Alliance Movie Makers Fellowship. I knew I had a much better chance of getting this one. As it turns out, I did receive an Honorable Mention (and $100 gear rental credit), so that was cool. And I'll throw that on my resume also! I don't know who the fellowship went to, they haven't announced it yet, but I knew I would have some stiff competition and I am sure that whoever won it is very deserving. I will let you know who when I find out!

While it would have been AMAZING to be awarded one or both of these fellowships, either one would tie me down just a little bit to Baltimore. Right now I have zero strings attached, and I think that is the position that I need to be in, so that I can keep a very open mind to wherever my opportunities might lead me. Much like being rejected by the MFF, I think that in time, not winning these fellowships will prove to be a good thing for me, believe it or not.

Right this minute I am very excited because I am back in the thick of things, co-producing Steve Yeager's latest feature, "The Rosens." Steve invited me to be his co-producer back in August, but due to everyone's schedules, we haven't been able to shoot a lot since then, so I haven't been able to do much to earn the title. Steve and I often work the same way, i.e., trying to do everything ourselves for our own shoots, so I have been hammering at him lately to let me take things off his plate. I finally wedged that door open and now it seems the floodgates have opened! That's a good thing, I like it. I got an email from Steve, well, actually like six emails, detailing scheduling issues and a healthy list of locations needed tout de suite. I didn't read these emails until about midnight. WHich means I didn't get to sleep until after 5:00am because my brain wouldn't shut off. It is like he handed me a Rubik's Cube and I couldn't relax until I solved it. I figured out what to do for 3 of the 5 locations, and figured out how to totally scrap the fourth one. But the fifth one was driving me crazy, and it wasn't until after 4:00am I had a "eureka!" moment. I got out of bed and wrote down all the locations on the dry erase board on my fridge so I wouldn't forget them. Regardless of how hard I tried to turn my brain off, I spent the next hour doing blocking of the actors in my head and envisioning the camera angles to give the best production values. I dreamt about the production and continued working things out in my sleep, and I was still thinking about it when the dogs woke me up to be fed three hours later.

I talked to Steve today and we worked a bunch of things out. I should, in theory, be able to relax tonight at my friend's New Year's Eve party. Champagne does wonders for that.

Anyway... as I've said before, I always land on my feet. I have a few other irons in a few more fires that I can't tell you about yet, that might pull me, physically, away from Charm City. Though I grew up in the Pittsburgh area and later spent 10 years in D.C., it is Baltimore that is truly my home now. Not only because I made it my home, but because Baltimore made itself my home. It practically insisted. It won't be easy to leave, if I indeed do, but the good and bad thing about Baltimore, is that nothing much changes here. No one ever leaves entirely. And the best part is, is that I have created my own little time capsule in "Smalltimore," capturing my friends and the feelings I have about this city in a moving snapshot, for, as they say, posterity. So, farewell 2009, and thanks for the memories... and 2010: BRING IT! Can't wait to see what comes next!